I keep waiting for things to sort themselves out. I’ve laid out the options, made myself clear, but I can’t even tell what’s clear to me at this point. I’ve never been the one to cause others pain, at least not on purpose. I’ve been told my faults are that I give too much, that I don’t save anything for myself. That instead of building myself, I build everyone around me. I do this because I want everyone else to be happy, as if their happiness will make mine. I know that’s not how the world works. Not completely. Because in order to make those around me happy, I don’t do the things that could make me happy. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember. I guess I don’t know how to be happy.